Monday, January 2, 2012

Why Does LOVE gotta hurt?

I once asked God...No, begged God for me to feel what love really is..
I was in a relationship that was DEAD and I felt nothing..I was a zombie..
wondering if Love really do exist? I used to believe everything I read.
That love is wonderful, it makes your life colorful...makes you feel the natural highs..
Just one glance, just one touch, just one smile and your world is complete.
I cried myself to sleep wishing for these to happen even just once before I die.
I was so lonely inside a relationship because all I have is a piece of paper and nothing more.

Then I met you..you fascinate me...I looked at my ideal list but you failed it..
But there was this feeling I can't explain...it's as if my universe was aligning around yours.
I feel giddy and excited just seeing your messages...all my senses are awakening...
I have feelings that were foreign to me...I was confused, I like them yet I hated them.
I am losing control...losing common sense...losing what I know that are best for me.
I fought the feeling...fought it hard...you see...you were not ideal for me. You are too cocky.
Too secretive...too shady..too hard...you are borderline heartless sometimes....yet...
Once in a while I will see a side of you that is sweet and thoughtful and love of family.
Those were the stuff that finally got me into thinking that maybe...just maybe you are more than
what you make me believe.

That first kiss....it was raining....it felt like I was melting..I never thought my heart was on ice
and it's thawing...it was painful and it felt good at the same time...my heart filled with this feeling that I thought was impossible, yet....it's there! the extra beat...I started analyzing myself and was denying it still..was it just chemistry? I was not attracted to you physically then but we had a good mental rapport.
It was from our first fight that I found out I was "in-love" I've been hurt in the past but it was not like that..I never felt that gut-wrenching pain so excruciating I was bawling my eyes out for the just the thought of not seeing you ever again...I fell madly, deeply kick-in-the ass in-love with you...

Loving you is like riding a roller coaster, ups and down, twist and turn...sometimes I felt like giving up.
I tried so many times to get away from you but it's like trying not to breathe...eventually I will give-in once more and take a good dose of oxygen. You are my drug, you are my poison, you kill me then you will kiss me to life again...and again...and again..

Is it worth it? all these pains and tears versus some days of love and laughter?
Is it worth getting to know what love really is?
Yes and NO...Though I am glad that I had the opportunity to "feel"....
I can't be on the roller coaster all my life..eventually the ride will end
and I will step on SOLID ground once more where I know myself better and live life as I know it.
I thank you though for the greatest ride of my life...it was exhilarating while it lasted.
I love you still and I think I will love you forever but I am done, baby.

I never thought Tragedy spells with: U..N..ME!

GRAVITY:

Lyrics:
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

Set me free, leave me be
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
I'm just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone

Set me free, leave me be
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
I'm just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need
Here on the ground

But you're neither friend nor foe
Though I can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know
Is that you're keeping me down
You're keeping me down

You're on to me, on to me and all over
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long





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