Friday, January 4, 2013

GPS - God's Positioning System...RECALCULATING



I accidentally found this blog on my draft folder, I was surprised that I haven't published it yet until now. Maybe because it's too poignant, this was when my Dad died 10 months after Mom and my daughter went back home to attend the funeral and I was left alone drowning in my sorrows.

Here it is, sharing it to the world...it's part of who I am now and what I have become.



Going Down the drain

Have you heard about the saying "You are in the midst of a crowd yet you feel alone"?
Lately I've been experiencing that, as if I am getting nowhere, lost and abandoned.
The more I tried getting to that position where everything is going great..
The time before Mother fate have given birth to the twin tragedy that made my life upside down
and rock my world to the core..back to the time, I haven't had a taste of Death that close.
I lost my rock, the woman, my mother who can weather all the storms and strong gusts of winds
The one who worked 24/7 to make ends meet. The father I held dear to my heart my security, my love.

I've lost the energy, the motivation...

I even tried drowning all these by entering another relationship that only made it worst.
I expected too much and gave to much too soon...thinking it will drown all my sorrows.
But I was wrong....wrong....wrong...wrong!!
God is taking all my lifeline...He's putting me in a place of solitude..so I can be still and know that he is God.
To finally listen to him and listen well...He's not talking yet..because maybe I am not ready yet..
But I am starting to get the point.

GPS, still reads....RECALCULATING.